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January 2020 DAFFY Date Experience: How to Turn Fears into Favors in 2020

1/19/2020

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Fears.

Fears can nag us. 

Fears can try to win by crippling us down to our knees while our life blows up all around us.
Fears can be sneaky and drip into our lives for a long time before they suddenly try to destroy us.
Or, fears can be like a camouflaged monster and try to swallow us up swiftly before we even know it.

Sound familiar? 
Within the weight of fears, they can feel like limiting beliefs, the evil perfectionist that lives in our head, fear of not being enough, fear of rejection, and fear of other’s opinions. - Britt Olson
Ladies, you’ve been surviving and living through your fears for years.

You are fear warriors. 

But, maybe you still feel chained or controlled by them?

“In order to call our fears, we must first know what type of narratives these fears manifest into. Listed below are a few common fear narratives that may play in your head every day, every hour or every other season in life.” - Britt Olson
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These may come in various ranges and look like: ​

FEARS
​ The Most Common Fear Narratives:

  • I am not enough.
  • I’m going to be alone forever.
  • I am not worthy.
  • I won’t have the money/time to do XYZ.
  • I am being selfish.
  • I’m not strong.
  • I’m a fake. 
  • I need to be perfect.
  • No one wants to hear what I think.
  • I am responsible for others' happiness.
  • My dreams aren’t important.
  • I am afraid to give advice.
  • I won’t ever look like them. 
  • No one wants to hear my story.
  • I don’t want to upset him/her.
  • I will be deceived. 
  • I don’t want to rock the boat.
  • I am afraid of loss (Losing someone, freedom, season of life).
  • I’m afraid to fail.
  • I am not beautiful. I don’t look good.
  • I’m afraid of missing out (FOMO).
  • I’m too old. 
  • I'm a failure.
Fears don't define us.

These narratives do not get to win or control us. Because, we have the truth of ourselves and who we are to speak over them. Let’s take a look at the most common truths that we can speak over the fears we listed before.

TRUTHS
Truths we can speak over the most common fear narratives:

  • I am enough.
  • I’m wonderfully made.
  • I’m not being selfish. 
  • I am chosen.
  • Yes, the world wants to hear me.
  • I have a purpose in this world.
  • I am set apart.
  • I can’t control anyone but myself.
  • I matter.
  • I will be okay if I do fail. 
  • I am beautiful.
  • I will never stop growing.
  • I’m never alone.
  • Nothing is impossible.
  • Everything I need is within me.
  • Progress not perfection.
  • I’m only responsible for myself.
  • My story will help someone.
  • My story matters.
  • I am loved by my creator.
  • All deception will be brought to light.
  • I am loved/ I am not alone.
These are real. 

These win. 

Not the fears. 
When I finally realized that I had to face my darkest fears in order to gain my control back, is when I created a 3 step process called the “Triple L” Steps to turn my fears into favors for myself. It didn’t happen overnight. It took time, support and practice, but now it’s a process I do everyday to lean through my fears and
​ into truths. - Chelsea Harris



The “Triple L” Process​

  1. Liar, Liar: Call out your fear/fears.
    1. By literally saying your fears out loud or writing them down.
  2. Let it Go: Speak the truth/truth’s over your fear/fears.
    1. By either saying it out loud, writing it down on a piece of paper or speaking it to your Higher Power or human being.
  3. Lean Into the Truth: Do a favor for yourself & manifest these truths into reality.
    1. By either writing them out, talking them out with someone else, creating goals, making boundaries, etc…) - bring your truths to LIFE.​​

We owe it to ourselves to do the work to bring our truths to LIFE. Because they deserve life and we deserve life. Even if you are stuck right now and don’t believe your truths will live or the concept sounds so far out there; please know that it is possible. ​- Britt Olson
And, don’t worry, we’ve been there before too and in this beautifully messy process we will go back there again too, because that’s life and life isn’t meant to be perfect.

But, one thing we do know is.... we will continue trying and being the warriors against these fears every day with this process.

​Will you try it too?

You're a treasure,
Chelsea & Britt

Want your own self-care sustainability check-in card?

Yes, please!

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DAFFY - Made By Real Women in Conversation

1/10/2020

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DAFFY stands for “Do A Favor For Yourself.” 

This powerful, actionable phrase manifested from real words by real women.
My name is Chelsea Harris, Co-Founder of DAFFY, and I officially started the DAFFY creation process in 2018. which involved research gathered from surveys, interviews and focus groups of anonymous women around the topic of self-care.

And in this journey of research, were conversations filled with vulnerability, emotions, values & expressions I couldn’t ignore.

When certain words were passed around in conversation, I was plugged into their rawness, dialed into their vowels & charged by their diction -  They were all familiar tunes humming inside me. 

Because, what these women were feeling, I felt and was feeling too.
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DAFFY is here because what women said to me which I’m sharing with you right here
[The responses are all anonymous]: 
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“When you wear a lot of hats you have to constantly make sure you aren’t dropping the ball. I work hard to keep up a strict workflow despite the struggles of raising a family and managing my own business.”

“As a female trying to balance work and life, I experience anxiety on a daily basis, and it has become a pretty consistent companion in the time I spend with my work. It comes as a direct result of the pressure to always be put together and maintain a flawless personal presence.”
“I work from home while also being a stay-at-home mom, so I get anxiety that I’ll have enough quiet time every day to get my hours in. On rough days, I stress over not getting much sleep because I have to work late and get up early to do so.”
​

“Coming together is so important and makes us feel so much better whether you’re struggling or thriving!"
Here’s what real women said via HuffPost regarding self-care below:
Self-care is... ‘not attending some extravagant spa day with the girls, but rather being able to identify when I need to slow down and perhaps cancel that spa day.’ - Katie McCartney

​“When self-care becomes a competitive and performative ritual on social media, it defeats its purpose... Self-care isn’t glamorous. It’s the everyday work you do for yourself to make you a little bit happier and healthy..If I had a self-care Instagram account, it probably wouldn’t be very popular ― there are only so many creative ways to take pictures of a water bottle or broccoli ― but self-care isn’t for other people, it’s just for you.” - Emily Bilek

Self-care is... ‘typically more difficult and less glamorous than treating yourself.’ - Emily Bilek

DAFFY is a way of managing our inner-wellness while we face life’s external unknown & uncontrollable circumstances.  

It’s a beautiful, sustainable way of living that grounds & grows us every day.
It might not look pretty, but it's progress not perfection.
Our hope is that DAFFY can ground & grow you too. 


Come sit with Britt & I + our team at the next DAFFY Date!
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    Chelsea & Britt

    Two friends making a commitment to DAFFY every single day and inspiring women along the way. 
    ​
    Life Hack: DO A FAVOR FOR YOURSELF, right now. 

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